Overwhelmed

I was doing some grading today at school, and I started thinking about how blessed I was growing up. I had parents that were so involoved that, at the time, I wanted them to get off my back. Now, though, I am so very thankful. I have 27 students. Half of these will never leave the area they are in. Half of these do not stand a chance in the world. They have failing grades or incompletes. This is not because they are stupid. It is because they are waking themselves up, getting ready for school, and taking themselves to the bus stop. They are coming to school, getting back on the bus, and going home to an empty house. They fix their own dinner, maybe attempt homework, maybe...play video games and put themselves to bed. Then they start over.

These children have no parental involvement. I have caught students forging parent signatures on their homework, and wonder whether I should punish them. They may not have any one there to sign. Parents are working the worst shifts possible, going out afterwards, or coming home and going to bed. They cannot afford a babysitter, so their children are staying at the house by themselves. My students are wiser than their years, but cannot read on a first grade level. Their moms are my age, and the kids are 9-11 years old. There is something seriously wrong here. Is there anything we can do? Who knows. I have other teachers tell me that you just can't help them all. I cringed the first time I heard this, and now find myself wondering how I can help half of them.

I adore my students. Even the students that misbehave all the time. They all have something unique and wonderful about them. I only get ten months; ten months to not only teach them but to assist in their raising. I did not go to college to learn how to raise 27 other people's children. Nothing can train you for this. Nothing can teach you how to hold a student in your arms while they cry about their mother that is in jail for selling drugs, or walking a student to the bathroom so they can get some water after they have confessed to you about a past abusive incident. Nothing can prepare you to react when a young boy tells you he is sad today. His brother died in a car accident five days ago.

It is overwhelming.